Welcome!

The purpose of this blog is to share my experience as a man who is attracted to men but also totally gung-ho about God and religion.  I come at this from the perspective of an active member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

There’s a lot of narrative out there that says a guy like me only has two real options–to be true to myself by ditching religion and having romantic and sexual relationships with men, or to stay in my religion and be untrue to myself, miserably repressing my sexuality.  I’m here to say there’s a third path–that it really is possible to thrive and be authentically happy while experiencing same-sex attraction AND choosing to follow God and His laws about sex and marriage.  That’s the road I’ve chosen, and at 37, I’ve been on it long enough to know that it’s real, it’s valid, and it’s the road I’m going to stay on.

What I hope to do here, in my posts and other content:

  • Share my experiences openly and honestly
  • Help others like me to know that they’re not alone
  • Give a greater voice to the feelings of the many like me who follow this 3rd road and often get ignored in LGBT community narratives and initiatives, and sometimes by our church communities
  • Give hope to others trying to walk (or find) this 3rd road, as well as those who love and want to support them
  • Help our family and friends to understand us and know better how to support us (regardless of how we’re choosing to live)
  • Increase awareness of LGBT issues and experience, especially among those who are too turned off by the mainstream LGBT community to really listen
  • Answer any relevant, respectful question submitted (even if personal)

What you won’t find here:

  • Guilt or shame about same-sex attraction
  • False hope about orientation change (at least during mortality)
  • Bashing of religion (that doesn’t count bigoted individuals who use religion as their excuse)
  • Complaints about the Church or its leadership, or appeals for doctrine or policy change
  • Talk about personal struggles with faith or doctrines about sex and marriage (not guilting others for having them–they’re just honestly not part of my experience)
  • Bashing of people who’ve chosen different roads (I’ll be honest about things I believe are right and wrong, positive and negative, etc., but I have a lot of friends who’ve chosen to approach this differently, and while I don’t agree with them, I do love them)

Audience:

I expect my content to resonate most with people of faith who want to stay true to that faith, whether they personally experience same-sex attraction or just seek to understand and support those who do.  Because I come from a background in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, I expect my fellow members are most likely to understand and appreciate what I share, but I hope it’ll be helpful for readers of many faith (and non-faith) backgrounds, and regardless of how they feel about my religious views.  Also, I’m a gay man, and I don’t have personal experience with being lesbian, bisexual, transgender, or any other part of the LGBT community, so some of what I write will be most relevant to men like me and their families and friends.